Trying To Hold Her Down

Rayne is feeling much better and I have to really slow her down, which is a good thing. She goes back in for xrays next Tuesday and hopefully everything looks good. She's not having any more pain and is even using her right hand more. We've started doing some school and she seems to like it. She was doing her Math workbook all morning. I wasn't feeling very well today and Quinn was super fussy, so I only got to work with her for a little bit this morning. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I've started school again too, getting the Master's so our schedule is going to be pretty full. We shouldn't be too bored this winter, that's for sure. I think Quinn is more actively teething now, as he is fussier than usual and constantly chomping on his finger while fussing. Even being held doesn't seem to help. I hope he doesn't have too much difficulty with it. He's getting so big. It goes really fast. He's close to sitting up by himself. That's it for tonight..I'm pretty tired.

Really Trying To Stay Sane

Not sure it's working. Rayne is so incredibly whiney and grumpy. It's very difficult to be patient. She keeps crossing that line though of being rude and mean. I hate that she is in pain and bored and yet trying to keep her from being mean and rude to us. Ugh. NO MORE MONKEY BARS EVER!!! That is all.

Poor Broken Rayne

Well..so much for Rayne's first camping experience. We got to the site and set up the tent and bedding and ate dinner and Rayne and her cousins were anxious to get to the playground. My first instinct was to say no, it was getting too late and almost dark, but I let her go with my Sister in Law and her cousins. A little while later I heard her blood curdling scream from all the way at the playground. So I went over there to see what was going on and she was still crying and screaming and my Sister in Law was holding her. I went to get her and looked down and saw her arm just dangling there and looked SO not right. I knew it was broken immediately. I yelled that her arm was broken and what happened? She fell from the monkey bars and landed on her arm. I got her back to the camp site as quickly as possible yelling for someone to help me with her. My Dad finally came out to the road and saw me and I yelled that her arm was broken and we got her back to the site. There was a paramedic not far from our site and he came over and helped get her arm in a makeshift splint and then we got her in the car on my lap in the front to get her to the hospital. When we got there, they took xrays and found out it was dislocated and very badly broken. It would need pins. They didn't have an orthopedic surgeon that could fix her, so we had to drive all the way back home to our hospital. We got in at about 3:30am. She hadn't had any pain meds up to this point. She was a serious trooper. She slept for most of the way there. She finally got a shot of morphine at 4:30. We talked to the surgeon shortly after that and when it was time to go up to pre-op, she was being SO good. She wasn't afraid and was talking and laughing with the nurse and anesthesiologist. They told her where me and Grandma would be (my Mom came with us to help with Quinn). They then started wheeling her away and she didn't cry or anything. I, however, broke down as soon as she was out of sight. Just for a bit. I was scared of the surgery and emotionally drained. I can't believe how much pain she must have been in. The surgery took about an hour and then she slept til about 10:30. I had 2 balloons and gift waiting for her when she woke up. She was happy about that. Once the local wore off she began to be in pain and has been in a quite a bit of pain for the last couple of days, but I think she's getting better. She was much better this evening with just over the counter pain meds. We had great nurses and they had a crib in the room for Quinn and an extra bed for me and my Mom to get some rest. My Mom stayed with us the whole time. She was up for over 24 hours by the time we were released that evening. Then we got home and my Mom unpacked our entire car and most of the clothes and stuff and cleaned up the house a bit before getting a ride home. My Dad stayed behind to finish out the camping trip with Rayne's cousins. Dave fell twice during this whole ordeal and banged up his head pretty good. He's still sore. It was just an awful weekend. But we are thankful it wasn't worse. She says she never wants to go camping again, but I'm sure she'll go sometime. She goes back in on Tuesday to get xrays done to make sure things are healing how they should be. She has 2 pins in her arm and a fiberglass splint all wrapped up. They are hoping the pins will be out in about a month. We are praying that it heals nicely and no need for any more surgery.

No bio this time..just too tired.

Goin Campin

We are off to Wallowa Lake in 1 week. Rayne has never been camping, so I hope she has fun. We are sleeping in a tent..that should be interesting with the baby too. Hopefully it goes well. The weather is supposed to be good..and not 100 degrees...ahhhhhh, that will be nice. I had the great idea of having a stupid yard sale. Yes I said stupid because that's what it was. Stupid. Nuf said. Rayne's cough is much much better. Quinn is doing fine..he chomps down HARD on my finger..like painfully so. I'm guessing he's still teething. Just a wild guess though. I don't think I've blogged since deciding to start a photography biz. I want to do maternity/newborn and children's portraits. So I've been doing a lot of photo sessions for free to build my portfolio. It is so much fun, especially belly and newborn pics. SO my favorite. And I even managed to do a shoot with a very grumpy 3 year old who did NOT want her picture to be taken and come away with several very cute shots of her. So I was happy about that. I am going to upgrade my camera in the next few months hopefully and upgrade my computer to a MAC and get aperature 2 with it. Oh and calibrate my screen so I will be all ready to go pro. I am hoping by February to be full blown pro and charging for sessions. I MIGHT try sooner, but I feel inclined to upgrade my gear first so I can make sure to the best pictures possible. So that's it on the homefront. And now......


THE BIO.

So I had to leave off at where I should have left the ex boyfriend. My brother wasn't doing well..he is still not feeling well, but hopefully slowly getting better. Some people just shouldn't try to climb big tall mountains, ya know? Anyway..so I'm at the point in my bio where you would think I would leave a person that lies and cheats and yet I don't. Instead, I decide to drive 2000 miles to Nashville at the same time he does. We both decide to move there at the same time. Me, to pursue singing..I seriously wanted to. Him, for a business venture that would end in failure. Making a big move like that was not new to me and I always think it's exciting. Until I get there. And then I question my decisions and wonder why I'm so retarded. I guess I should explain how I got to Nashville in the first place. I had a job at Hanford through an employment agency in the human resources department of somewhere...can't remember where. The place is huge. The job was boring. I mean seriously boring. I read at least 20 books while working there. Then I discovered I could get online and that's when I began searching for other jobs. There was a nanny position near Nashville that sounded appealing to me. Of course I already knew that a certain someone was going to be moving there. I figured I would have some support while trying to pursue my singing. That's the one thing he did right. He completely believed in my singing and that I could go somewhere with it. And that was important to me then. So anyway, I contact this person with the ad and we talked and hit it off. She liked me from the phone interview and I got the job. It would include room and board and 150/week. Not a bad deal back then. So I took it and broke the news to my parents that I was once again moving a long ways away from home. I'm sure they were thrilled with me yet again. So I pack up and head out shortly after that. When I arrived at the house I would be living at, it seemed very nice. Very southern which I loved. An older house with lots of charm. The kids were sleeping so I would meet them later. Their Mom seemed really nice. Yeah right. Anyway...we talk for a while and then I go to bed as I am exhausted from a long driving trip. The next morning I get up and meet the girls. They are really cute and it seems like we will all get along great. The girls were 5 and 8. Hard to believe they are now about 15 and 18. Wow. Time goes by fast. So life goes on as normal for a while..I watch the girls during the day and then I'm free in the evening. I think the Mom thought I would just hang out with all of them at night, but I had other ideas. I was there to pursue my singing. I had to get out and do that. I met up with the ex boyfriend and went out singing wherever I could. It was fun. I love singing so I usually have fun when I am doing that. I could tell though that the girls Mom was irritated that I wasn't there in the evening too. Oh well, not much I can do about that. And then one day, I went to a movie in the park with them and when we got home, the Mom asks if I heard her grandparents in the house last night? I said, no were they here? She said..well they died several years ago, but that she thought she heard them in the halls again the night before. I think my mouth must have hit the floor. I thought at first she was kidding..she was not. She continued to tell me that they come out every once in a while and it usually keeps her up. Okay....I want out now. And that's where I will stop. It's late and I'm tired. Next time will continue with this nightmare I've managed to get myself into. And how my health will decline rapidly and end in emergency surgery.

The photo is from my most recent photo shoot.

We are at 80%

Rayne is much better. She still coughs and even has really hard coughs, but not nearly as often. They aren't kidding..it's called a 100 day cough for a reason. It really does last that long. We are only at about 45 days. Longest illness I know of. Quinn's never progressed. He is drooling like crazy though and will choke on it at night and sometimes during the day. Mostly when he is sleeping. I think he might be teething. So I have to listen for him in the monitor and run in there when he chokes. Sometimes I have to lift him up and help him and sometimes, he's okay on his own. He is such a chunk. I bet he weighs at least 16 lbs now. Rayne didn't weight that until she was like a year old!! He can wear 6 month clothes..in part due to his cloth dipes, but he's a chunk too, lol. I'm getting serious about pursuing a photography biz. I really want to do maternity and newborn pics and eventually birth photos when Quinn is older. I can't leave him overnight to do that yet and don't want to take him for obvious reasons. I'm excited to make a go of it. I've got several people lined up to do shoots for to build my portfolio. No pay, but will hopefully pay off when I'm ready to go. I'm excited about the camera I will get with tax return too. Not releasing that info at this point. I love photography so much. It is so creative. So many aspects of creativity to it. And it's so important to people as it captures their loved ones in time. I love candid photography..really capturing people's personalities. I would love to do weddings, but most are on Saturday and that just don't work for me, as I don't work on that day. Maybe someday I will get to do one.

And now...for biography stuff..it's been a while, I know.

So I was leaving Alaska at my last writing. Or typing. I tried to stay on...but the thought of another winter after what I had gone through with those people, was just too much. There were a lot of things I loved about Alaska and I was leaving a dear friend, but I just had to. So I went to the Feast that year in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. That place will always have a somewhat bittersweet feeling for me now. I'm sure you've guessed why. It's because of a man. I met someone at that Feast site. I thought he was different. I'm not sure I want to go into that much. Let's just say I made some bad choices from the time I met him through the next 3 years. Yes, 3 YEARS. This was my first real serious relationship. Before this, I had dated, but not for that long. Man..there are so many things I just don't think I can type out for all to read. I guess some things just have to remain personal and kept locked up. It woudn't do anyone any good to know them or for me to have anyone else know. To sum things up in a nut shell...I met this guy, decide to move to a city in Oregon closer to him, but still quite a drive away. Instead of being 3 states away, he was only 1. So I thought since I met him at the Feast that he was a regular Church goer..don't ever assume this of someone. He in fact had JUST started attending Church again and I don't believe he had any intention of attending regularly. This guy was so mixed up in what he wanted, it was awful. I of course had no idea at the time. So I move to this city with these friends I had also met at the Feast. I stayed with them in their home until I found a job and could afford my own place. These people were also not what they seemed. Especially the woman. She in fact smoked pot at her neighbors regularly and had me watch her son while she did it. I didn't know this right away either. You could say I was a bit naive about the big ole bad world. VERY naive. Living with them was interesting to say the least. It was not fun. While living in that city I worked at a place called National Flora..a teleflora company. The job wasn't bad, I actually enjoyed it. At times it was not easy, like when a grandmother called in for flowers to be sent to her grandchild's funeral. Those were difficult calls. I was to remain composed and compassionate when sometimes it was hard not to cry with the person. Then there were the idiot callers that would spend thousands on roses at Valentines and ask me if I would be impressed if my significant other did that. I actually told a guy I would be very angry if my boyfriend spent that kind of money on some flowers. Stupid. So at that time I lived for the weekends that began by either me or this man traveling to see each other. Little did I know at the time he was still seeing his Ex girlfriend. On the weekends that we couldn't travel and during the week. Nice eh? Not nice at all. And I had no clue. How would I? He lied from the get go to me about a lot of things. It would take me almost a year to find out. And when I did, what did I do? I believed his lies again and gave him another chance. And not just once, but many times. And it wasn't just one girl as I later found out. There was another ex he was seeing too. Doubly nice eh? Can we say STUPID. I wanted it to work so bad, I was just blind to his lies. Seriously...I was so scared that it was my last chance at someone actually caring for me, I closed my eyes to it. And let me tell you, when I opened my eyes again..I was disgusted with myself. Completely. So after moving to his State and living there for 3 months and discovering his side relationships twice while I was there..I finally left. And you would think it was for good wouldn't you? Nope. After that, I moved to Nashville to pursue my singing. Except that he went too..to pursue a business opportunity that would fail. I'm going to leave off here, getting word that my brother isn't doing so hot...gonna go chat with SIL...sorry...stay tuned.

Photo is another friend's daughter...her eyes will getcha

Mending Mending

Rayne is mending. Quinn is still okay. It's been a month this coming Monday since we got the results of Rayne's pertussis test, so Quinn should be in the all clear. For this, we are so so thankful. I cannot even express in words how thankful. He is drooling like crazy, so we are wondering if he is trying to cut teeth already! He also was fussy for a couple of days (can we say crazy Mommy?). He's choking/gasping in his sleep once in a while..not sure if it's saliva or some reflux. He spit up more today than he usually does. Maybe I'm eating something he doesn't like, not sure what it could be though. He's done it twice so far tonight..it's scary. This is going to be a short one tonight, my nerves are frazzled again. More later, goodnight.

The picture is my friend's daughter from a little photo shoot I did.

He's still okay...and Rayne is mending

So far Quinn is still okay, no bad cough. I am so so thankful for that. SOOO thankful. Rayne is healing. She isn't coughing as often or as bad. Sometimes she still has some whooping coughs, but most of them are just a hard cough. I can't tell you how awful this cough is. I will be so glad when Christ returns and all sickness is wiped out forever. I want that to be soon. Like now. Anyway, it's been a bit of a stressful month or so and I could so use a break. But alas, I am a Mommy and there are no true breaks. But that's okay. I am a Mommy and I love it. I am thankful for my children's health right now. And for ours. And for my families. I can't wait until it's okay for us to return to Church. That can't be until the cough is better managed. I don't want her to have a bad attack during services as it would be really disruptive. So we will wait a bit longer. Hopefully another week. So we should be able to order some school supplies later on this month. I'm getting excited to start Rayne on schooling for real. Since the baby has been born, we didn't do much this spring. I think she would really enjoy reading, so we will start working on that. She also loves to add things..she tries. So we will also really focus on that. She loves drawing too, so I can't wait to get some good art supplies for her. She's been drawing tons of pictures for us and her "family" which is of course us, have really long legs, lol. And big heads. not sure what she is trying to say there. AND, everytime she draws us, I am the biggest person in the picture...hmmm...not sure if I should be offended or honored. I'll have to think on that one.

And finally...some more bio stuff

So I was still in Alaska in my last posting. Working for the people who were shams in every way possible. If it wasn't for that little girl, I would have quit a long time before things fell apart. Oh, I forgot, before I started working for them I got a black lab puppy I named Boots. I loved him. He was such a neat dog. He loved to pull kids on sleds, he was always happy to see me. He was fun. Well, with this job and supposedly moving back and forth between Salt Lake and Alaska, it wasn't really going to work to keep him. So I had to give him away. I could never have sold him like a piece of property. There was an employee of theirs that had a son and they were looking for a dog, so I chose them. I cried so hard when I put him in their truck. He tried so hard to get out of the window, he didn't want to go. I know he went to a good home, but it was so hard. I hated it. I wish I would have kept him, because of what eventually happened with the job. So I worked for them all summer, overtime many times, having to cancel my plans I had made for the evening many times. The girls Dad would fly over to Anchorage in his little plane and then if the weather changed too much, he would get stuck over there (how convenient) and if the Mom was out of town, I was stuck until he could get back. Nice right? No relief either. And quite a distance from medical help if I needed it for her. I remember one time in particular, I had a date to go to a movie and dinner and had to cancel at the last minute thanks to him getting stuck over there. I was so very mad. VERY mad. He didn't even care that I had plans, just called and said, sorry I'm stuck, you'll have to stay. What if I refused? What if I just quit? Argh, it bugs me to think about it. I also remember I was with them at a bbq when we heard on the news about Princess Diana being killed. That was weird. Funny the things you remember and what you were doing when they happened. I think that's about all I remember of that job. I learned a lot about caring for someone completely disabled in every way. I loved the little girl, she was so sweet. Plus she loved to hear me sing and a Leanne Rimes song in particular, lol. She got so excited when I started singing that song to her. It was my back pocket tool I brought out when she was having a melt down about something. Those could get pretty hairy. You did NOT want to make her mad. Anyway, it's too bad her parents were losers, because I would have loved to do that job longer. BUT, because they didn't do what they were supposed to and hire another part time nanny to help me, I ended up getting tendinitis in my shoulder and eventually got to where I couldn't lift her by myself. She weighed 70 lbs. I had to go to the doctor because of the pain and I claimed L&I. Guess what they did. They fought it. Claimed it was because of my violin playing. I had already been playing violin for like 20 years and they claimed it was from that, and not lifting her repeatedly day in and day out. They of course lost and had to pay my medical bills, but in return...they left me. Right at the last minute of leaving for Salt Lake, they said they weren't bringing me any longer and they just left. I had no job and no place to live. And THEN, before I could find a new place to live, they shut off the electricity and it had already started getting cold outside and snowed. They didn't even give me a week. I just woke up one day and there was no water and no power. I was SOOOO mad. I had to go stay at a friend's house until I found a roommate to move in with. Nice eh? They just didn't care about anyone but themselves. I think they were abusing their daughter's lawsuit funds. They took the hospital to court because she was disabled from the DTaP vaccine and won, on behalf of their daughter. It was enough to take care of her for the rest of her life. So that's what happened with that job. From there, I tried to stay on in Alaska at a daycare, but when the Feast rolled around, I decided to move out of Alaska. It was just too much for a single woman..I wanted out. And that's where will leave off. The next part of my life was not to get any easier, thanks mostly in part to my stupidity and naivity. Stay tuned....