We are at 80%

Rayne is much better. She still coughs and even has really hard coughs, but not nearly as often. They aren't kidding..it's called a 100 day cough for a reason. It really does last that long. We are only at about 45 days. Longest illness I know of. Quinn's never progressed. He is drooling like crazy though and will choke on it at night and sometimes during the day. Mostly when he is sleeping. I think he might be teething. So I have to listen for him in the monitor and run in there when he chokes. Sometimes I have to lift him up and help him and sometimes, he's okay on his own. He is such a chunk. I bet he weighs at least 16 lbs now. Rayne didn't weight that until she was like a year old!! He can wear 6 month clothes..in part due to his cloth dipes, but he's a chunk too, lol. I'm getting serious about pursuing a photography biz. I really want to do maternity and newborn pics and eventually birth photos when Quinn is older. I can't leave him overnight to do that yet and don't want to take him for obvious reasons. I'm excited to make a go of it. I've got several people lined up to do shoots for to build my portfolio. No pay, but will hopefully pay off when I'm ready to go. I'm excited about the camera I will get with tax return too. Not releasing that info at this point. I love photography so much. It is so creative. So many aspects of creativity to it. And it's so important to people as it captures their loved ones in time. I love candid photography..really capturing people's personalities. I would love to do weddings, but most are on Saturday and that just don't work for me, as I don't work on that day. Maybe someday I will get to do one.

And now...for biography stuff..it's been a while, I know.

So I was leaving Alaska at my last writing. Or typing. I tried to stay on...but the thought of another winter after what I had gone through with those people, was just too much. There were a lot of things I loved about Alaska and I was leaving a dear friend, but I just had to. So I went to the Feast that year in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. That place will always have a somewhat bittersweet feeling for me now. I'm sure you've guessed why. It's because of a man. I met someone at that Feast site. I thought he was different. I'm not sure I want to go into that much. Let's just say I made some bad choices from the time I met him through the next 3 years. Yes, 3 YEARS. This was my first real serious relationship. Before this, I had dated, but not for that long. Man..there are so many things I just don't think I can type out for all to read. I guess some things just have to remain personal and kept locked up. It woudn't do anyone any good to know them or for me to have anyone else know. To sum things up in a nut shell...I met this guy, decide to move to a city in Oregon closer to him, but still quite a drive away. Instead of being 3 states away, he was only 1. So I thought since I met him at the Feast that he was a regular Church goer..don't ever assume this of someone. He in fact had JUST started attending Church again and I don't believe he had any intention of attending regularly. This guy was so mixed up in what he wanted, it was awful. I of course had no idea at the time. So I move to this city with these friends I had also met at the Feast. I stayed with them in their home until I found a job and could afford my own place. These people were also not what they seemed. Especially the woman. She in fact smoked pot at her neighbors regularly and had me watch her son while she did it. I didn't know this right away either. You could say I was a bit naive about the big ole bad world. VERY naive. Living with them was interesting to say the least. It was not fun. While living in that city I worked at a place called National Flora..a teleflora company. The job wasn't bad, I actually enjoyed it. At times it was not easy, like when a grandmother called in for flowers to be sent to her grandchild's funeral. Those were difficult calls. I was to remain composed and compassionate when sometimes it was hard not to cry with the person. Then there were the idiot callers that would spend thousands on roses at Valentines and ask me if I would be impressed if my significant other did that. I actually told a guy I would be very angry if my boyfriend spent that kind of money on some flowers. Stupid. So at that time I lived for the weekends that began by either me or this man traveling to see each other. Little did I know at the time he was still seeing his Ex girlfriend. On the weekends that we couldn't travel and during the week. Nice eh? Not nice at all. And I had no clue. How would I? He lied from the get go to me about a lot of things. It would take me almost a year to find out. And when I did, what did I do? I believed his lies again and gave him another chance. And not just once, but many times. And it wasn't just one girl as I later found out. There was another ex he was seeing too. Doubly nice eh? Can we say STUPID. I wanted it to work so bad, I was just blind to his lies. Seriously...I was so scared that it was my last chance at someone actually caring for me, I closed my eyes to it. And let me tell you, when I opened my eyes again..I was disgusted with myself. Completely. So after moving to his State and living there for 3 months and discovering his side relationships twice while I was there..I finally left. And you would think it was for good wouldn't you? Nope. After that, I moved to Nashville to pursue my singing. Except that he went too..to pursue a business opportunity that would fail. I'm going to leave off here, getting word that my brother isn't doing so hot...gonna go chat with SIL...sorry...stay tuned.

Photo is another friend's daughter...her eyes will getcha

Mending Mending

Rayne is mending. Quinn is still okay. It's been a month this coming Monday since we got the results of Rayne's pertussis test, so Quinn should be in the all clear. For this, we are so so thankful. I cannot even express in words how thankful. He is drooling like crazy, so we are wondering if he is trying to cut teeth already! He also was fussy for a couple of days (can we say crazy Mommy?). He's choking/gasping in his sleep once in a while..not sure if it's saliva or some reflux. He spit up more today than he usually does. Maybe I'm eating something he doesn't like, not sure what it could be though. He's done it twice so far tonight..it's scary. This is going to be a short one tonight, my nerves are frazzled again. More later, goodnight.

The picture is my friend's daughter from a little photo shoot I did.

He's still okay...and Rayne is mending

So far Quinn is still okay, no bad cough. I am so so thankful for that. SOOO thankful. Rayne is healing. She isn't coughing as often or as bad. Sometimes she still has some whooping coughs, but most of them are just a hard cough. I can't tell you how awful this cough is. I will be so glad when Christ returns and all sickness is wiped out forever. I want that to be soon. Like now. Anyway, it's been a bit of a stressful month or so and I could so use a break. But alas, I am a Mommy and there are no true breaks. But that's okay. I am a Mommy and I love it. I am thankful for my children's health right now. And for ours. And for my families. I can't wait until it's okay for us to return to Church. That can't be until the cough is better managed. I don't want her to have a bad attack during services as it would be really disruptive. So we will wait a bit longer. Hopefully another week. So we should be able to order some school supplies later on this month. I'm getting excited to start Rayne on schooling for real. Since the baby has been born, we didn't do much this spring. I think she would really enjoy reading, so we will start working on that. She also loves to add things..she tries. So we will also really focus on that. She loves drawing too, so I can't wait to get some good art supplies for her. She's been drawing tons of pictures for us and her "family" which is of course us, have really long legs, lol. And big heads. not sure what she is trying to say there. AND, everytime she draws us, I am the biggest person in the picture...hmmm...not sure if I should be offended or honored. I'll have to think on that one.

And finally...some more bio stuff

So I was still in Alaska in my last posting. Working for the people who were shams in every way possible. If it wasn't for that little girl, I would have quit a long time before things fell apart. Oh, I forgot, before I started working for them I got a black lab puppy I named Boots. I loved him. He was such a neat dog. He loved to pull kids on sleds, he was always happy to see me. He was fun. Well, with this job and supposedly moving back and forth between Salt Lake and Alaska, it wasn't really going to work to keep him. So I had to give him away. I could never have sold him like a piece of property. There was an employee of theirs that had a son and they were looking for a dog, so I chose them. I cried so hard when I put him in their truck. He tried so hard to get out of the window, he didn't want to go. I know he went to a good home, but it was so hard. I hated it. I wish I would have kept him, because of what eventually happened with the job. So I worked for them all summer, overtime many times, having to cancel my plans I had made for the evening many times. The girls Dad would fly over to Anchorage in his little plane and then if the weather changed too much, he would get stuck over there (how convenient) and if the Mom was out of town, I was stuck until he could get back. Nice right? No relief either. And quite a distance from medical help if I needed it for her. I remember one time in particular, I had a date to go to a movie and dinner and had to cancel at the last minute thanks to him getting stuck over there. I was so very mad. VERY mad. He didn't even care that I had plans, just called and said, sorry I'm stuck, you'll have to stay. What if I refused? What if I just quit? Argh, it bugs me to think about it. I also remember I was with them at a bbq when we heard on the news about Princess Diana being killed. That was weird. Funny the things you remember and what you were doing when they happened. I think that's about all I remember of that job. I learned a lot about caring for someone completely disabled in every way. I loved the little girl, she was so sweet. Plus she loved to hear me sing and a Leanne Rimes song in particular, lol. She got so excited when I started singing that song to her. It was my back pocket tool I brought out when she was having a melt down about something. Those could get pretty hairy. You did NOT want to make her mad. Anyway, it's too bad her parents were losers, because I would have loved to do that job longer. BUT, because they didn't do what they were supposed to and hire another part time nanny to help me, I ended up getting tendinitis in my shoulder and eventually got to where I couldn't lift her by myself. She weighed 70 lbs. I had to go to the doctor because of the pain and I claimed L&I. Guess what they did. They fought it. Claimed it was because of my violin playing. I had already been playing violin for like 20 years and they claimed it was from that, and not lifting her repeatedly day in and day out. They of course lost and had to pay my medical bills, but in return...they left me. Right at the last minute of leaving for Salt Lake, they said they weren't bringing me any longer and they just left. I had no job and no place to live. And THEN, before I could find a new place to live, they shut off the electricity and it had already started getting cold outside and snowed. They didn't even give me a week. I just woke up one day and there was no water and no power. I was SOOOO mad. I had to go stay at a friend's house until I found a roommate to move in with. Nice eh? They just didn't care about anyone but themselves. I think they were abusing their daughter's lawsuit funds. They took the hospital to court because she was disabled from the DTaP vaccine and won, on behalf of their daughter. It was enough to take care of her for the rest of her life. So that's what happened with that job. From there, I tried to stay on in Alaska at a daycare, but when the Feast rolled around, I decided to move out of Alaska. It was just too much for a single woman..I wanted out. And that's where will leave off. The next part of my life was not to get any easier, thanks mostly in part to my stupidity and naivity. Stay tuned....

Never been so scared...

We found out that Rayne has pertussis or whooping cough. It's very horrible to hear your child cough to the point of no more breath and then gasp trying to breathe. Horrible. It's even more horrible to worry that your 3 month old may get a cough like that and have to be hospitalized. When I found out Rayne's pertussis test was positive, I freaked. Big time. And I was in Portland on what was supposed to be a fun trip for Rayne. It ended abruptly with us heading home to get the kids on antibiotics and hoping it was in time before Quinn got that cough. We prayed and have done everything we can holistically and medically and I think he's going to be okay. So far, he doesn't have the cough. I am so praying that he doesn't get it. This illness is so awful. It hides sometimes. That's what I am still worried about. But I know so many are praying and I am just trusting in God to protect him. He's so little. Rayne is recovering..although she still has pretty bad coughing fits. Some still take her breath away and it's still awful. My nieces and nephew have it also and that's what sent little Miette to the hospital one night. This is no disease to mess around with at all. Especially with very young kids. Needless to say, I just don't have it in me to do biography stuff again. It may be a little while. When things can settle down a bit and kids are healthy again.